Why I'm Miserable

OK, did some thinking during the long walks from pt A to pt B today. Why I'm miserable now.
One word: Money.

It ain't worth it. Whenever I open my excel file on financial documents I feel fucking frustrated. Total Damage for the SEP "Experience" or whatever shit you call it is about SGD12,000. And it's for three fucking months only. If I'm lucky, and if the assholes at my Hall refund me the money (since I paid for more than 3mths), the net expenditure will cut to about SGD11,000. Correction, they will refund me the money, if not I'll chase them to the ends of the Earth for it. DO NOT get in the way of the poor and desperate man from the money that is rightfully his.

Even at SGD 11,000 that is still a fucking hell lot of money. Generous grants from NUS managed to cover almost 50% of that cost. So technically half the sum comes from my pocket. Here's the catch, I spend SGD1500 for 3mth in Sinkapore (of which some is saved). That means, if I were to close an eye, at the bare minimum I traded a SGD3000 Tablet PC for 3mths in the US as a student in UCLA, on top of my normal Sinkapore living expenses.

Now, you tell me is that worth it? NO!!!
And you cannot deny the cost of this "Experience" is still SGD11,000.

I try to solve it from the Machiavellian pt-of-view, which I always do anyway. The end justify the means. Loosely translated, in order to be happy, the SGD11,000 must be worth the shit I am doing here. WTF am I doing here? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! And don't give me the crap about adapting to American culture and shit like that... cause:
1) American culture ain't that different from Singapore culture. Well, at least for LA (more on that later).
2) And even if it was that different, it does not justify spending SGD11,000 for some experience that goes down the toilet bowl once I get back.
3) I may have overestimated the importance of a SEP in portfolio building, especially since I plan to go the Graduate School. Normal jobs may look at SEP favorably, grad sch dun give a fuck.

How to salvage the situation? There are solutions, but none of them are materializing or have a high probability of materializing anytime soon:
1) Do a research project. 3 out of 4 profs said no...
2) Work in a laboratory.... I'm currently working on this, but not likely to succeed either.
3) Intership in the industry. This would incur extra expenses and visa problems.

The crux of the problem is, the options above are very unlikely to occur simply because I am here for too short a time. Only 8-9 weeks left!!! My qualifications are in fact good, but nobody is looking to hire me for such a short period. I don't blame them too...

So how? Fuck la what else... Life is Misery. Misery is Life. Once again the undeniable laws of WL prove infallible.

Oh ya, if any person tells you going overseas is worth it, use your mind! That person is either
1) Rich.
2) On scholarship (same as pt 1).
3) Went for NOC, in which they are paid MONEY to stay there and do highly relevant shit for their future career.

Look what I have when I come back.
NO money.
NO highly relevant stuff for my portfolio.