International Relations Analysis of SE Asia

Ok, WL will try to attempt to write a semi-scholarly piece of International Relations (IR) in Southeast Asia. Of course, it will be based on my limited understanding of IR Theory and my bias against National Slavery. Expect lots of "fucks" too... no this is not going to be published in the Journal of International Relations. However, I have submitted this to the Journal of WL-ism (ISI Impact Factor -10 naturally... )

Ok, WL shall use multiple lenses. First, we shall see it from the security-oriented perspective, in terms of Realism and Neoliberal Institutionalism (henceforth called Neoliberalism cause the fucking term is damn long). Then, we shall move it to the economic-oriented perspective called IPE (I forgot what it stands for). Ultimately, WL shall conclude that wadever angle you see it from, Singapore's anomalously large military force (and hence National Slavery) is irrelevant and completely redundant. Some cheers please...?

For the sake of those who don't follow my blog... hey that's everyone! Who reads WL rubbish articles anyway? Not all of them right? If you do... go see a doctor, something is wrong with you...
Oh ya, for the sake who don't follow, let's define the basic concepts

Realism is WL-ism at the most cynical and selfish core. Power makes right. The Strong do what they Will, and the Weak suffer what they Must. I love this phrase. Nations are henceforth trying to "outwit, outplay, outbastardize" each other to end up to be the most powerful dude, the one with the biggest guns. Neoliberalism is pretty much the same song... just that it emphasizes economic power over military power. And in maximizing one's economic power, this is best done through trade and other nice peaceful things. Still... the common trait in both perspectives is that countries want power, be it military or economic. Finally, both theories assume logically that States are rational actors, meaning they can identify what goals they want, do some cost-benefit calculations, and seek the best means to achieve it.

Of course, my prof will say this is irrelevant in SE Asia, since all ASEAN countries are puny, pathetic and powerless states. However, if we just confine our scope to ASEAN and fuck care big shit America... I think the same concepts apply.

Back to SE Asia. Let's look at the common claim, which I now declare a myth, that if Singapore does not maintain a minimum of her 1-million man army, Indonesia and Malaysia is going to invade us. Why does Indonesia/Malaysia wants to invade us? Cause we're the only rich yellow (i.e. Chinese) country in SE Asia, and they are all so jealous about our great economic success and prosperity. Henceforth, the gahmen spreads this image that Singapore is an endangered species. ROTFLMAO.

Look, I am not contesting the point that Indonesia/Malaysia may be jealous about our economic success... who wouldn't? And I am not contesting that some parts of them may have the desire to blast the shit out of us. But... ultimately at the end of the day, they can hate Singapore to their guts... but they would not invade us. Now, for the common folks, this is hard to swallow. If I dun like your face, I punch you right? Well, not quite:

Let IR Theory Explain:

In the realist world, as much as countries want to be big and powerful... WL would say "subconsciously" the more important thing is the "Balance of Power". Countries in general like the status quo. Changes to the status quo brings about an imbalance, and thus everyone will shift to restore the "Balance of Power". Henceforth, in ASEAN as with other parts of the world, it is unlikely that any one country will take military action against other... this would disrupt the "Balance of Power". This is why... traditionally great power rivals don't go jihad against each other, because it disrupts the "Balance of Power". That's why the Americans did not beat the shit out of the Soviets in the Cold War, although I admit the Nukes were also a big consideration to think of. Sorry la, can't think of more historical examples when nukes weren't invented yet...

All members of ASEAN including those nasty countries who wants to invade us are part of the United Nations. If there is anything hardcore about the UN it is the respect for countries' sovereignty. Respect for territorial sovereignty has been in fact an international norm (which for all means and purposes is now a "rule") for the latter half of the 20th century. This is why when Iraq invaded Iran, everyone agreed on using military action to punish the aggressor. (Note: I'm not too sure if I got the order mixed up... maybe it was Iran invaded Iraq). This is also why nobody is willing to really support America in Gulf War II... cause it was an invasion of Iraq territorial sovereignty over Bush's excuses of WMD. Of course, you will say that US went ahead anyway... Aha! You see US is big and powerful and so it has what my prof calls the "go-it-alone" power. Indonesia and Malaysia are not big and powerful countries... they cannot unilaterally invade Singapore without bringing down the wrath of the UN. And by UN, here I actually mean the US + Great Powers (i.e. China + EU). In fact, if Indonesia/Malaysia invades us... ultimately they will pay the price. UN will declare sanctions of them, embargos, blockades wadever... and their economy will crumble. Bottomline: Only countries with nukes and aircraft carriers can unilaterally invade other countries.

Let's say for the moment, assume that there will be no consequences to Indonesia/Malaysia invasion of Singapore. So would they do it? Nobody to punish me so I do it right? Wrong!!! Economics dude... Economics... Let's be honest, there is nothing worth in Singapore. We have no oil or natural resources. The only thing worth taking is our infrastructure. However, if you're going to bomb the shit out of Singapore, you're going to destroy that infrastructure. You see... in IR Theory, countries do not just beat the shit out of each other based on "economic jealousy". Why? Cause in the process of waging the war, you are likely to destroy the very thing you are trying to capture. And so... at the end of the day, you waste money and resources mobilizing your forces on a failed attempt. And as rational actors, as much as Malaysia/Indonesia want to get hold of Changi Airport, declaring war is stupid because the war will likely destroy that thing they want to capture... Bottomline: Invading Singapore to capture our "economic success" (i.e. our infrastructure), will most likely destroy it and render any invasion a waste of resources.

Let's not forget about economics and trade here too. A countries' currency has no instrinsic value except the "trust" that the international community has in that country. This is why generally speaking, when a country is in political upheaval, the value of its currency drop. And the value of a country's currency is also vital to the country's economic success. Destabilizing actions will reduce the value of one's currency. Henceforth, war which is a fucking destabilizing act, will reduce one's "economic power" in that sense. If you want your country to be wealthy and economically well-off, you will behave like a good member of the international community. For example, Bush's jihad in the Middle-East is fucking destabilizing... so the American dollar is dropping yeah!!! (Ok, actually I'm not too sure if this is the truth... I'm quoting prof)

So... what is the conclusion? Indonesia/Malaysia cannot invade Singapore cause:
1) It will invoke the wrath of the UN, and all the Great Powers in the world (US, UK, China, EU).
2) They will suffer terribly by means of economic sanctions, embargos, blockades, etc...
3) They will not "capture" anything worthwhile by invading Singapore and most likely destroy whatever that makes Singapore "valuable".
4) Their economy will suffer additionally because of the loss in their currency value.
5) It disrupts the status quo in the region, and nobody likes that.
6) Ultimately because of reasons 1 to 5, they can find better things to do than bomb the hell out of us.

So back to the original point - What is the purpose of our 1 million man strong army? FOR FUCK??? Deterrence? This is overkill!!! We are way past the point-of-diminishing returns here man... A competent well-trained force of regulars would be fine...

We are not Israel, which is surrounded by countries who really want to blast them into bits and are blasting them as we speak.

We are not Taiwan, which has China (a Great Power with Nukes, which arguably may one day have "go-it-alone" power like the US) who threatens them with military force if Taiwan ever secedes from China.

We're just Singapore, situated in a rather "hostile" environment. But nobody is going to invade us!!! NOBODY!!! It's just the bogeyman that you're afraid of, the one generated by Singapore propaganda!!! The bogeyman does not exist!!!