Chronicles of the Food War

Chronicles of the Food War

This is a chronicle on the ongoing Food War between the Qwerky WL Food Eating Habits (QWFEH, pronounced as "Quay Fey") Empire and the Vegetable Dominion, the root of all evil that stretches their disgusting green leaves onto every imaginable food faction in UCLA-controlled space.

Week 0
The QWFEH Empire made first entry into UCLA-controlled space. First contact with the Mexican Alliance ended in a disaster. Long-range scouts reported high food prices and excessive vegetable contamination, that led to an all out declaration of war against the Mexican Alliance within one week.

Week 1
First contact with the Burg(er) Collective. The Burg attempted to subjugate the QWFEH Empire but their attempts ultimately failed. Eventually, the anti-bread weapon technology was developed that stripped the Burg of their unpalatable bread, leaving behind the barely palatable meat.

Week 2
First contact with the Italian Confederacy. The pizzas tributed to the QWFEH Empire was not to their liking, but the occasional chicken-based pizza appeased the QWFEH Empire in signing a Non-Aggression Pact with the Italian Confederacy.

Week 3
What history has come to known as the Great Chicken Wars. The QWFEH Empire sick and tired of eating chicken every fucking meal attempted to pass an Imperial Order banning all chicken-related products. Unfortunately, that would cut off the only meat source with the Empire, and the citizens of the Empire would rather suffer the Chicken then bow before the Vegetable Dominion. Relations with all factions providing Chicken has gotten worse ever since.

Week 4
First contact with the Asian Alliance. The Asian Alliance food proved to be palatable, but the excessive chicken on the menu proved to be an impediment to warmer relations with the QWFEH Empire. Eventually, the Asian Alliance provided prawns to the Empire, but at a substantial cost. A Trade Agreement was promptly signed with the Asian Alliance for all Lunch meals on campus.

Week 5
Further diplomatic relations with the Italian Confederacy led to the trade of pasta. While tomato-based pasta were traditionally outlawed in the QWFEH Empire, the non-tomato based pasta were to the liking of the QWFEH Empire. A trade agreement was formed to eat at the Dining Hall that specializes in Italian Food. A Treaty of Friendship was signed between the Italian Confederacy and the QWFEH Empire.

Week 6
Torturous weeks of chicken-only diet had let the citizens of the QWFEH Empire to the brink of social unrest. Reports of smugglers from the Vegetable Dominion were too numerous to be dismissed. Amongst them were reports of citizens consuming Broccoli. An Imperial Order was announced, and all citizens eating Broccoli were executed. "We must not fall to the Vegetable Dominion be it leafy or non-leafy", said the Emperor.

Week 7
With a miserable diet base, the QWFEH Empire rapidly ramped up their reconnaissance efforts to find the one missing meat in the Empire's diet. Fish. Eventually, an unlikely source was found. The Mexican Alliance. Diplomatic relations were re-established and relations made a quick turn for the better. By supplying the QWFEH Empire with Fish Tacos for lunch on campus, the QWFEH Empire soon abandoned their exclusive Trade Agreement with the Asian Alliance and signed a Treaty of Friendship with the Mexican Alliance. Advanced technology was developed to quickly dispense of the vegetables within the Tacos, and taste ratings in the Empire soared.

Week 8
Further talks with the Mexican Alliance led to the discovery of Shrimp Tacos. Unlike the Asian Alliance, the Mexican Alliance provided twice as much shrimps for the same cost. On 25 Feb 08, the QWFEH Empire formally declared an alliance with the Mexican Alliance.

The battle continues as the QWFEH Empire fights their archenemy the Vegetable Dominion. In the QWFEH Empire camp, an alliance has been formed with the Mexican Alliance and good trading relationship with the Italian Confederacy. The Asian Alliance remains neutral in the conflict, and the Burg(er) Collective continues to hammer away in an attempt to destroy the QWFEH Empire.

Long live the QWFEH Empire! Death to the Vegetable Dominion and all their suppliers!!!